Zeilensport: Fußball und die Verdauung

Angeregt durch Schwärmereien von Milans Trainer Ancelotti über das “kulturelle Ereignis Stadionbesuch” in England, stellt der GUARDIAN-Klo Kolumnist Harry Pearson eine Verbindung zwischen Essen, Verdauung und dem ausbleibenden Erfolgen des englischen Fußballs her.

These are the facts: In the 70s and 80s the grub was pigswill, the sanitation revolting. Liverpool, Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa won the Champions Cup seven times between them with displays of disciplined defensive obduracy.

In the 90s and the 21st century, the food is a lavish banquet, the lavatory facilities include not only toilets but also the seats that go with them.

Result: Manchester United win one Champions Cup with goals conjured by the sort of madcap penalty-box bombardment advocated in the 50s by Wing Commander Charles Reep.

Nobody wants to go back to football’s dark ages, but if English clubs are to regain their hegemony we cannot rely on the tactical wizardry of Jose Mourinho and Rafael Benítez alone. We the supporters must also make sacrifices. Devouring the surplus junk Jamie Oliver has outlawed from school dining halls would be a start.